Sugar n spice & all that's nice!!

Meri ankhon mein ek suroor tha.. Labon peh halka sa ghuroor tha.. Waqt ne paltee ajab si kaya.. Na raha suroor, na bacha ghuroor.. Tanha se hum, tanha yeh wujood!! Kisi din dikhla deyn gay.. Waqt ko yeh batla deyn gay... Ankhon ka suroor kabhi chhinta nahee!!! Ansoo ki dharon mein chhupp jaye ga.. Aik din zaroor ubhar ayega!! Khushi ho ya dukh!! hamesha se thay hamesha rahay gay!! Maut ke sath yeh bhi sang chalay gay!! Lekin sath us din bhi hoga.. Apna suroor, apna ghuroor!!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------- sometimes I just love blogger!! a lot!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Ager ghup andhere kamray mein deemak lagay sofa se sir tikaye , chhat pe latkay ceiling fan ko dekh ke kisi ko neend ayi hoti tou aaj duniya mein kisi ko bhi insomnia nahee hota, trust me! ---------------------------------------------------------------------  

Allah tera shuker hai!!! Thats all I should and I believe I must say!!! I know that God loves us all equally... depending on how we progress in  terms of our lives, He loves some more and some less, but nonetheless like how a mother always loves her children, He tends to provide us with rizq(food) He is indeed Great! Those whom He loves, He puts in front of them a variety of tests, we have to pass through them if we love Him equally!! Yes, love has time and forth required tests to prove, poor love I feel sorry for her(?? mebbe it) but, in this time of test, I am about to lose myself.. almost finished, yet living!! weird... but true!!! but I still thank Him because it just proves to me .. He has loved me right from my birth... and uptill now He still does.. I may have wronged some people in life, but I hav never been the vicious evil kind!! I believe the vicous evil will fall prey to its own trap.. Koi sath ho na ho,Woh zaroor hay.. us waqt bhi tha jab koi na tha , aur uski...

okayyyy.. so lots going on my diary!!! Sadu is hereeeee :D:D cant blv it.. cant blv tht i got to roam around in dubai with my own bestie fr a whole day!!! n cant blv i didnt find one mallu chaiwala wen we wanted to guppofy over chai... cant wait till after eid... hanging out again.. yoohooo!!!!!! i feel like singing "i'm glad you came" :D wats on the menu for eid???? haleem!!! puff pastries!!!! siwaiyyaan!!!! Pizza margharita!!!! yummzz.. cant wait till tomorrow!! means aaj chand raat hay!!! chand raat back home meant calling alllllllll of my classmates immediately after maghrib! hehehe!!! fir doosray din who calls first to wish eid!!! i miss my class fellows bt i m glad u came!!!! :D:D:D tomorrow color is blue, good old sombre blue!!! kafi red ho chuka hai!!! ;)

It was exactly this time, albiet PST!!! yes... the first overly romantic sms that buzzed on my nokia 2300..(I still have that mobile with me) the first sms which I did not delete, n the first sms which made me hide my phone from my brother, if u r reading this bro. :P i m sorry... and I could not sleep that night...it was so scary, too much anxiety, too much fear that next day I am not sleeping in my room, I am not having the double bed to myself.. Theres gonna be someone else, someone I hav to spend the rest of my life with!! what a feeling.. what a night!! And then, the next day!! God blessed us with rain.. so much rain so much rain that my silver stilletos went wet!! I was so worried ager saloon band ho gaya tou... (no makeup, ugly me?? :p) Karachi doesnt havent a proper drainage system... I loved it jab aapne bhi koshish kiii ke mera sharara doesnt get spoiled!! I cant forget that scene!!! I can't forget sitting with u in the car goin back home, ur home, my home!!!! I can...

7 years today!! 7 years and each year I say to myself, I survived one more year without you! Only GOd knows how! I have no more to say, no more to write.. I really don't know how many more to go! but I wish the lesser the better! Time heals, but never erases! n u r one deeply etched memory, much more than just a memory.. you are felt all around me! as if a presence is always there! May you rest in peace, may your soul be at peace... ~

Sometimes when I get "me" days i like it, I grab cheetos, open up youtube and watch all sorts of videos(dont get me wrong) from dramas to movies to cartoons..yes, i absolutely love the me time tht i get.. i love the spacious king size bed that i hve all to myself, i love sleeping on my partners pillow.. :P and i love the tv remote all to myself, i love the fact that no more morning madness, wake up at 10 but after 2 days I get sick of doing it all alone.. yes, i miss you when u r not there to share my cheetos, n i miss you when the extra 7 up lays in the can till morning.. oh, n i miss u most when someone has to switch off the light, and theres no one to do it besides me!!  but thats not all, I miss it most when you are not there to calm me from my nightmares, I miss you most whn I need my good night hug, and also when there comes the funny moment in youtube, I look to my right but u aint there.. its 3 30 and insomnia has struck me again!! I just cant slee...

This year the 14th of July didn't haunt me like it always did.. I didn't feel scared when I woke up this morning. Infact, I felt pretty normal when morning dawned upon me. I did not get that feeling of fear, anxiety and hopelessness. I did not break into tears. As I fumbled around with the newspaper I noticed the change in me, I felt grown up enough to understand that time lessens the pain, time definitely heals. I thought I am finally brave!!! But I was wrong. As the moon lurks outside my window and the stars shine down upon me, I realize I am not through, I am still petrified what tomorrow morning might bring for me, what will be your situation, what will the doctor say, when will you come out of coma, when will the virus leave. All these questions ran through my mind when I left you in the icu and head towards a home without a mom, what's a home without a mother. I had to go home that night, I could not stay in the hospital lobby, you told me to go. We were in the car....