Skip to main content

Posts

Its hot outside.. 34 degrees.. but I'm shivering.. In the past 11 years, not a night had passed when you werent thought about. Not one. Some nights though are harder than others. Sometimes I think deeper than I usually do and its then that it dawns upon me I am so friendless, you were my best friend. You still are, just not around me. Tonight I wish I could have a cup of tea with you Mom... with a baked samosa, or a mustard sauce n beef sandwich. Maybe we could go for a chaat, I drive now, we wouldnt have needed to go walking, not even in a rickshaw. Maybe we could sit in the garden once more, just maybe. We could have bought just one more book Mom.. I shunned books when you left, because you were my driving force behind them  After quite a few years, when I touched a book, I realised that you are more around.. I found my love for books again. Because you made me love books. I wish I could tell you about all the new books I have read..they are all thrillers eheheh but I gu
Recent posts
You cry when your mother suddenly out of the blue wakes up sick.. Gets admitted in the hospital, stays in coma for 14 days, and then moves on to her final resting place, you cry hard because you had never in your wildest dreams imagined her to go away jus like that, in the blink of an eye... You don't agree, you can't accept.. Your dad tells you shes okay... Shes not gone... Lets you deny the fact till you finally accept it... But what happens when you know that your dad has been struck with a terminal illness, last stage, doctors say he can't live long, he suffers for 2 yrs, he heads on to meet His lord... Dont you cry? Doesnt it hit hard.. It hits hardest!!!! HARDEST!!!! The biggest blow!!! I miss you Pappa!!! In just the blink of an eye, in a breath that we tKe, a breath goes missing, and a person is gone!!!
Its one of those warm summer nights, when you are feeling cold and shiverrish in the AC. One of those nights when everything around you seems calm and stable, but the storm that's cooking up inside you is killing you. One of those lonely nights you wish there was someone around to share a cup of hot tea in that storm of emotions, a shoulder to cry upon, a teddy bear of a hug to make you warm and fuzzy, those nights you wish you just had a book that could transport you into another world, a world of no worries, no tensions, no dreams, no desires, no hopes, and no wishes.. Just another world... God has made a lot of galaxies, lots of planets, Earth is just one of them, and I am just a nobody living n the huge Earth!!! Somewhere around I wonder there must be another Earth, where there would be another lost soul, who might or might not be equally worried as me... maybe that another world would be guilt free, worry free, anxiety free... sometimes this anxiety of mine takes my appetit
Its 2 a.m. She can not sleep. Sleep is a term for peace, probably... Far from peace, how can there be sleep... Someone is sick, someone is far, someone is veryyy far... She misses the 4 yr old, who said, "Dont be sad, be happy" the apple of her eye... If only it was so easy, he taught her, being thankful is the key... She thanks Allah for whatever is in store, but she can't sleep. Listening to the chugging sounds of the fan, the tick tock tick of the clock, scampering of a cockroach, the sound of some car coming in late, the squealing cats, the birds(afterall the early birds catch the worm) and finally the cockadoodle doos.. Such a short night, yet so long. Sometimes all she wants is to close her eyes, and dream... Of nothing... Just nothing, no thoughts, nothing... :( Lord, grant me peace!!! Shower your mercy on the sick, give them good health, ameen!!!!

Happy Birthday Maa!!

Ajeeb baat hai, mein ne socha tha, aaj I will be happy..I will cook some nice dishes, recite a dua for you, n be smiling..I could move through the day like this, but when the sun sets, somewhere in my heart a darkness assembles, and I realize not a year would go by when I wont shed a tear on ur birthday!! I so miss you, I couldn't thank you even, for making me a wonderful person (at heart) yess, even if I say so myself.. I know it deep down, no matter how much arrogant ppl can think Ariens are, how bossy, n mebbe selfish.. but you instilled great values in me.. and I pray I can instill the same amazing values in chitto bitto!! :D For that every night you put me to sleep, I can never thank you, ever!! For that every morning you came in my dreams, to give me a moral support that I needed much more than anything, I can not utter a thanks... For every thing you did for me, I appreciate it a lot, but my only regret is I can't talk to you.. Life is so unbelievable, so short, so

I missing you!!!

Lakh duniya kahe tum nahi ho, tum yaheen ho... Haan, tum yaheen ho... 2 din... Aur sirf aik aap, aik apki ankhein, bass sirf yehi hain mere samnay... Chahoon bhi toh mera dil, dimagh kuch aur nahi kerne de raha... Mri nazron mein sirf aapka chehra aa raha hai, mujhe nahi maloom kyun, 8 saalon mein itni shiddat se aap labhi yaad nahee aye, per in do dino se apko aik lamhe ke liyeh mein nahee chorr pa rahee... Bass nahi chal raha, kahan se dhoondh laoon... Aik aik ker ki poori zindagi ankhon ke samany aa gayee.. Bchpan, larakpan, jawani... Mein ne burhapa bhi aapke sath soch liya tha... Maa, kuch unfair hay yeh... Ya nahi? Yaad aata hai apka yeh kehna ki maut pehle aa jaye, per mohtaji nahi, auR mera jawaban yeh kehna, nahii, pehle me phir aap... Aur apka yeh kehna, pagal, kabhi bachay pehle martay hain kya!!!! Ar phir ankh dikhana... Mummy, mujhe hospital yaad aata hai, emergency room mein hum dono, woh oxygen mask, jo apko bilkul pasand nahi aa raha tha, baar baar usay nikal rahay t