A Letter Undelivered!!

Its thirty past one.. a.m. I am trying to sleep. I think I am sleepy too, a full days work does that, but its weird because I can't sleep, because it seems weird thinking that just a room behind where you used to sleep, you aren't there now. I was used to it. Whenever I felt like that, I always went to you, and wake you up..Then, after a few moments of talking to you helped me sleep. Remember, when in fifth grade, after I had Jaundice, and had your full company, you put me to bed even in fifth and sixth grades, we'd stay talking till late. No matter how much I wish for time to turn, it won't..

But its not so now. Now, if this happens all I can do is think of you, think that you are not there. Sometimes I lay thinking that you might come in and peep in my room as you used to.. perhaps someday..and if you did, you'd be like, "You are still awake.." And then we'd have our midnight tea. It was so nice. I still have tea at night, old habits die hard, but I drink it without you, drink and think, cherish the time I spent with you in that very place.. Try to imagine that you are there, even though you aren't.

I try my best not to hurt you, even if I remember you.. I avoid tears to slip, b/c I know they'd hurt you. I resist, till its too much..And today, its too much, can't take anymore.. I am so selfish and bad, I know I'm hurting you too, but it hurts when someone dear leaves, it hurts hard.

I miss the times when I knew that all my tensions, my thoughts would end just by looking towards you, but you had a style of turning the most difficult things into simple stuff. Just that one look is impossible to get in this world. You were the one who'd listen to me anytime, even if I had a saga to tell.. Today, I have got so much to tell, but life's like that, you aren't here to hear them, though I believe that you know them, yes, you do.

And that is not all, there's so much more. You'd sacrifice yourself for me so many times, sometimes I think that it was me who took you away from myself. You'd take me everywhere I wanted to go. That last year, we literally had the best of our lives, I'm glad we had it.. Be it a school event, or some college function, you'd never let me miss it... You did so much for me, which I can't even say, and here its me sulking and making you sad..

And yet, I am happy and thankful for I atleast had you, if not for all my life, much more than what other kids have. I am glad that we had an awesome time togethor, and I'm blessed, truly blessed..I think I'm sleepy, perhaps you've come, perhaps you are here..right over my head, singing the old rhymes..perhaps..